Things Ron Guenther Probably Wont Be Announcing Today

Today Illinois fans will be treated to a press conference by their Athletic Department Director, Ron Guenther. The former Illini football player and Butkus teammate has had a very long tenure in his position, is responsible for the hiring of every single Illini athletics coach (I believe) and has overseen a very large scale expansion and improvement of the south campus area, including the massive renovation of Memorial Stadium three years ago.

One of the most powerful people in the University period, "coach" Guenther has his share of supporters and detractors, the latter of whom are the most vocal. There is plenty of speculation as to what the AD will announce, whether it be renovation plans for the Assembly Hall, when he will retire, or any number of other possibilities, I believe however we can rule out several announcements Guenther wont be making.

• An honorary Bill Self Day at the Assembly Hall, to formally bury the hatchet with the former Illinois basketball coach. "Hey, we understand, Bill, it is your dream job after all."
• The removal of Bruce Weber as basketball coach in the interest of pursuing the talent of Bruce Pearl, Kelvin Sampson, Steve Fischer, or some combination of the three.
• Declaring himself dictator for life and director of athletics, University of Illinois. (I suppose this is possible though.)
• Apropos of nothing, announcing that there would be no change at the top in the football program.
• A decision to commemorate the play of Warren Carter with a statue.
  
• The decision to endow a scholarship to the Illinois Law School in honor of former Governor Rod Blagojevich, for all that he has done for the University, and its reputation.
• Anything at all about the basketball team, Bruce Weber, or the sport of basketball whatsoever.
  
• That the University has decided to create a new mascot: Abe Lincoln, man of steel.