Big Ten Media Days: Day 1 part 3

If only I could remember who was up next...

More updates soon

Everyone STFU...he speaks. But no opening statement.

The USA Today wants to know if like a pope, no one will replace Joe Pa  until the day he dies, his handlers prying his headphones from his vice like grip. Joe Pa says eh. Then poop jokes. I am not kidding.

We now move on to real questions, this is a good thing. Joe Paterno is a big fan of bringing Nebraska into the Big Ten, and it turns out before he was coach at Penn State, JoePa was an assistant at Nebraska. Presumably prior to the invention of the internal combustion engine.

I'll be completely honest, the day that this man stops coaching, is the day college football will jump completely into modern boredom. This guy schedules a home and home with Bama, deftly jokes about his own mortality, makes a poop joke, and STILL TAKES HIS TEAM TO A MAJOR BOWL EVERY YEAR. The man is a joy.

I want to point something out, Joe Paterno is 80 some years old, and still has salt and pepper hair, and I don't think he dies it.

Joe Paterno will have 400 wins by the end of this year, probably 405. 45 seasons, 405 wins. That is an average. AVERAGE of 9 wins per year, the majority of which had only 10 games per year.

and with that, the visage of Tim Brewster appears....

Great summer recruiting....positive. Thanking Larry Fitzgerald for having a camp on University of Minnesota campus. Thus far, this is kind of a depressing opening statement, he also thanked James Laurenitis for being from the area, I guess. Indeed both of these hometown heroes showed the kids in Minneapolis how to be a success, go to schools other than Minnesota.

With Brewster at the mic, the feeling of the room has moved from one of joy and laughter under JoePa to one of depression and malice. Seriously this guy kind of scares me.

Now back to the fireworks with ...Kirk Ferentz? groan.

Although perhaps with his hip, fancy young person's belt that he purchased from the hotel gift shop, he can talk about something exciting. Then again, perhaps not.

Kirk Ferentz is a Luddite in the tradition of my father "I can read texts, I just can't send them yet." We would not want to get too flashy here. 

I honestly don't know how Ferentz inspires his players to win like he does, for me, listening to Ferentz is like sitting through a high school chemistry class. I barely feel motivated to write anything about this Q & A let alone let a huge man tackle me.

"I am not wild about west coast road trips in the middle of the season." IF THIS MAN IS WILD ABOUT ANYTHING, I WOULD LIKE TO SEE IT.

Jim Tressel has arrived at the mic......despair.

...seniors.....maturity....leadership...freshmen seem good.

He did just say, "I don't want to bore the people with that story." IT HAS BECOME SELF AWARE.

Oh boy, an expansion question..."will anything be taken away from the rivalry if you guys don't play on the last day of the season where everyone has to bow down and kiss the ring of both of your programs?" (I am paraphrasing here.)

People asking Tressel a lot of, "how good is the Big Ten now?" questions. The reality is, we won our BCS games this year, after not winning one since like 03. If we had won some of those games during that seven year span, (Illinois included) the judgments would have been different, but I think it is short sighted to base things purely on BCS games.

Wait! Seriously? Is his time up already? Did his voice send me into a coma or something?