The Zook abides: How to outlast your peers in college football.

Ron Zook has a  record of 21--39 as coach at the University of Illinois. He had an embattled season this year, winning only three games. In five seasons at Illinois he has still yet to match the number of victories he accrued at Florida. And he will be coaching next year. Mark Mangino, Mike Leach, Charlie Weis, Bobby Bowden and Urban Meyer will not. Haters can keep on hating, but the Zook abides.

Zook is a wily weed of a coach that will not be uprooted so easily. Lets take a look at what brought down these once employed coaches, and how Zook avoided falling into a similar situation.

Charlie Weis, 35-27, 2 BCS appearances, fired by Notre Dame in 2009.

Weis was fired for falling well short of expectations in his last few years at Notre Dame, and the second straight season finishing at 6-6 was too much for the boosters to stomach. ND ponied up and bought out Weis's bloated contract, allowing him to become one of the most highly paid unemployed individuals in America.

How Zook avoided this:  Zook wisely chose to be hired by a school that has a power vacuum at the top, and where apparently the football boosters are not wealthy or influential enough to really impact coaching changes. Its really pretty brilliant. The Zook abides.

Mark Mangino 50-48, with a BCS win, fired by Kansas in 2009

Mangino was fired for among other things being a  total dick to just about everyone around him.  Kicking chairs out from under people, yelling at parking attendants, telling players he would send them back to the ghetto, and forcing a player to crawl on his hands and knees to on burning hot turf, all the sort of stuff that really endears one to his players, and also gets cut loose like a Macy's Thanksgiving Parade balloon with too few handlers.

How Zook avoided this: For one we all know that Zook gets around campus in a much more stylish fashion than most, so parking tickets are not really a problem. Also Zook knows the value of physical fitness and the importance of leisure time to reduce the likelihood of being a complete and utter dick. The Zook abides.

Mike Leach 84-43 multiple bowl wins, fired by Texas Tech in 2009.

Mike Leach is often called crazy like a fox, but over the last few days events have come to light that make me wonder if in fact he is crazy like an insane person. He has been accused of using tactics on a certain Tech wide-out and son of ESPN analyst Craig James, that can only be compared to those of either Donald Rumsfeld or Buffalo Bill from the Silence of the Lambs. Outside of a football context, taking the son of a prominent individual, locking him in a utility closet and maintaining a fetish for all things pirate would sound well, a bit insane. Inside a football context, well, its still pretty fucking crazy.

How Zook avoided this: He takes his meds daily, and never misses a dose. Also he does not take his coaching cues from CIA interrogations. The Zook abides.

Bobby Bowden 2 National Championships and 40 some years of coaching. Forced to retire in 2009.

Bowden was forced to retire from coaching because he is as old as sin, and like a US senator or Supreme Court Justice has stayed on well past his mental prime simply because he likes the title and power. Did I mention he was old?

How Zook avoided this: He was born after the Second World War, is not likely to stay in any one place long enough to be asked to retire. The Zook abides.

Urban Meyer 56-10, 2 National Championships. Taking a leave of absence due to health problems in 2009.

Urban Meyer revealed that he has an arachnoid cyst and a heart condition that has made coaching  very detrimental to his health, and is taking an indefinite leave of absence to try and get healthy again. Either that or losing to Alabama and Nick Saban nearly literally killed him.

How Zook avoided this: Aside from being born with genetically superior health and the constitution of a horse, Zook has wisely avoided such high stress situations as bowl games and competitive football games, which as we all know age us before our time.  Sure Zook may have fewer wins than any of the other coaches listed here, but he will be coaching in 2010, and none of these jokers will. So in the end who is he better coach? The Zook abides.