New NU Illinois Trophy up for vote, options positively... lame.

What makes a man go neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality? Perhaps it is the retirement of a vaguely offensive football trophy that was once passed between two academic institutions.

The Sweet Sioux Tomahawk is no more, part of the on going removal of references to Native American culture from collegiate atheletics. What was once a man size "Cigar Store Indian" then became a small framed Tomahawk is now on permanent display in the Northwestern trophy case. Whatever your feelings about this,(WARNING: NO POLITICS ALLOWED) the U of I and Northwestern have decided to put a new trophy up for grabs (goody goody) and they are putting it to a vote.

Unfortunately the options we have been given from which to  choose, are as bland as they are uninspired. Behold the 4 most inoffensive names to supposed centers of creativity and higher learning could provide

The Land of Lincoln Trophy - A replica of Lincoln's stove pipe hat mounted on a piece of White Oak (Illinois' state tree).

President's Trophy - Recognizing the four presidents associated with the state of Illinois - Lincoln, Grant, Reagan and Obama.

The Popcorn Bowl - Named after the Illinois state snack.

Graham-Grange Fire Bell - The original series trophy started in 1941 was a fire bell named after two of the greatest players at each school - Otto Graham of Northwestern and Red Grange of Illinois.

My initial reactions are "we have a state snack? and its popcorn?" and to wonder what the hell an amalgam of four presidents would look like in the form of a trophy. Also this is the saddest excuse for trophy ideas I have seen. It's bad enough that something like this is being foisted upon us instead of evolving naturally out of a legitimate rivalry. If the Land Grant trophy is any clue, the new trophy, fully realized will be ugly, boring and meaningless to both sides. In my opinion, the "rivalry" between NU and Illinois hass not been very heated for about 4 decades, and I don't think there is much point in having a trophy between these teams anymore. This new trophy wont make me want to beat Northwestern any more than before, and without the tomahawk, it wont make me root any less.

Rivalry trophies can  be really cool, like the Paul Bunyan Ax, offbeat like the Illibuck, or so strange and anachronistic you can't help but love it, like the Old Brass Spittoon. Unless we rename the rivalry, the Battle for the Colbert Trophy, I shall remain unenthusiastic.

Hmm, Colbert, that does sound interesting. They did leave the option for a write in suggestion...