ELISE AMENDOLA - AP

Bobby Knight, in a happier time. (AP Photo/Elise Amendola, File)

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Former Indiana University basketball coach and plaid enthusiast Bobby Knight was at the Indiana Basketball Hall of fame last night. The "general" as many have called him over the years lectured those in attendance on all of the reasons he is happy he no longer coaches in the NCAA, most notably how dangerous it is for players to walk on a court after Calipari has been there, due to the viscous liquid he leaves in his wake wherever he walks.

What has been under reported are the many other reasons he is happy he is out of the coaching game.

• "The kids and their twitters"
• "the increased weight and durability of court side seating"
• "the unavailability of Brian Dennehy to star in another ESPN movie about me"
• "the departure of the short shorts era"
• "have finally found a man with just as much grump and disgrunt, in best friend for life Digger Phelps."
• "The shot clock, the no blocking under the hoop rule, and other immoral and unsportsmanlike rules"
• *string of unintelligible words and curses*
• "Oh and I couldn't make the tournament anymore, no matter how much I screamed at my players"

You know the worst thing is, I really like him as a basketball analyst.